Saturday, October 6, 2012

Life granting



I want to try and fit one more blog in before we leave for Leo's soum in an effort to continue to bring you all closer to our journey and what we are experiencing. Some of the other blogs have been what we've done which is important as well, but I wanted to invite you all in to the personal journey I've been taking too.

The book I mentioned earlier in my blog could not have been more perfectly placed in my life and has begun to help me frame some of the experiences I'm having. The author, Barbara Brown Taylor, when asked about her prayer life responds by talking about the practices that sustain her life and enable her to view her body not as good or bad, but as dead or alive. She closes this section by saying, "There are times when dancing on tables grants more life than kneeling in prayer. More to the point, there are times when dancing on tables is the most authentic prayer in reach, even if it pocks the table and clears the room" (47). I think my prayers during this trip may have come in those moments not kneeling in prayer, but in moments of joy, tears, and bumpy roads.

Riding along the bumpy roads on the way to Tsengel was life giving and life granting in more ways than could be expected. When my camera battery died on the way home (much to my dismay), I had a chance to finally free my eyes of the camera and sit back and take it all in. As we bumped along and frequently found ourselves thrown from one side of the car to another, somehow Leo and Dad fell asleep. I put my Ipod on and started listening to Mumford and Sons and the sun began to set over the mountains and through the clouds. I had a chance to simply sit, listen, think, and gaze mouth wide open at our world. Everything in the scenery here is so large, so vast, and it is easy to feel very small in the midst of it all. Feeling small is a wonderful feeling when one cannot help but experience the infinite size and magnitude of our God and his love for the small things.

Jumping on a camel and riding it around the eagle festival was life giving, laughter inducing, and joy filling. I don't remember what it felt like to ride a horse as a child but I imagine that it may have been some of the same emotions. The camel beautifully clad in a decorated saddle sank down to the ground for me to climb on top and then with a little struggle came up to standing. I found myself on top of the camel giggling, laughing, giving a thumbs up to Leo as he took my picture, and feeling on top of the world. I looked out to see mountains stretching far, eagle hunters surrounding me and I literally had to stop and tell myself this was real, this was my life. My joy of this experience only increased as Dad got on board and rode around with a huge kid like smile and then Leo, who can be quite serious, also jumped on board and was given a Kazak hat to wear for his ride. All of his descended from our individual rides giddy and in disbelief we had ridden a camel. Feeling childlike joy and glee is one of the most beautiful forms of prayer.

Beginning to realize that a community here might love your brother almost as much as you do is also beautifully humbling and life granting. On our first day arriving here in Olgi, we climbed off the plane onto the runway and leisurely took some pictures as our luggage arrived from a pully cart. When we entered the building, Leo found some people he knew and we got a chance to meet them. One was a man from Olgi who according to Leo speaks the best English in town. After introductions and small talk, he closed our conversation by saying "You will go to a town named Tsaaganur and you will see that Leo is very loved there. They all love him." I had tears come to my eyes as I tasted the fact that we will be traveling to a village where Leo is loved, where he is valued, and where he is treasured. When our love is far from those we love, God steps in to bring it closer. A prayer of gratitude was whispered.

And so I haven't kneeled in prayer this trip or been to church, but our daily experiences have brought my emotionally to my knees in awe of the love and goodness of God.

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